Why I can't read the news

This morning Chad updated me on 2 key events in the news he felt were benign enough to mention to me at 6 A. M. Our neighbors know that "I cannot listen to the news in the #@% morning!" I have problems with the news, and while I feel it is important to try to keep up with what is going on in the world for many extremely important reasons, I cannot read the mainstream news. It's very important to understand your fellow man, where your politics/votes are going, and how to treat the current environment so we can sustain a livable earth for many generations to come. However, reading the daily news does none of those things for me. Instead I get depressed, and angry. I start to dislike the people around me. Thoreau said all news is gossip. I don't actively avoid the news, I just don't seek it out & somehow things seep in & the world keeps turning. I'm not an activist. I'm not good at it. I'm good at making my art. I hope to be a good mother. These are very important things for me to share. If I do my best at them the world will benefit, and things will change. Chad doesn't agree with my point of view on this. That's okay, but here is why it's better for him to read the news and not me right now:
At 6 A. M. Chad announced this bit about a successful Mars landing, and you know what my first thought was? "Go Team Alpha Wolf Squadron, " Why? Because we watched Shrek 3 last night, see below

Donkey: Alright people, let's do this thing. Go Team Dynamite!
Pinocchio: But I thought we agreed we'd go by the name Team Super-cool.
Gingerbread Man: As I recall, it was Team Awesome.
Wolf: I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
Donkey: Alright, alright, alright. From henceforth, we're all to be known as Team Alpha Super Awesome Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron.

and while I love scientists, admire the heck out of astronauts, and feel Nasa should be supported my brain says what? Our country's financial sheet, unemployment rate, real estate, dollar are all at ridiculous levels, and the war? Our environment? It struck me that only a Donkey, a wooden puppet, a wolf, and a gingerbread man would solve all of those problems by exploring Mars at a rate of 2 gazillion dollars a day. Successful landing? Sweet, now there will be a resort for the last two remaining people living on Earth after it's environmental apocalypse. Enter visions of two really attractive people stranded in bomb shelters trying to seek each other out for a romantic kiss while dodging radioactive living dead and driving Mad Max like vehicles. Maybe I should avoid movies as well as the news. I didn't share this with Chad, lest the neighbors be sleeping.

At 6:01 A. M. Chad announced this tidbit about Bush supporting the largest marine conservation project in history, and do you want to know what my first thought was? A picture of George Bush's fat face grinning during a farewell speech while he holds up the last living plankton found in his sanctuary in a snow globe, commemorating his environmental record. Hopefully it will be a bullet proof snow globe, because a lot of people are angry with him. I'm not the violent sort, but that weird kid in my science class in high school who used to brag about all of the illegal weapons and explosive material he had under his bed is seems more interesting as the years go by. I don't think I ever got his number, because he scared me, but if I did see him today I might ask him to coffee with his militia friends. Probably decaf.